Recently, I asked a question on Twitter, or X, or whatever the hell it’s called nowadays. And it went a little something like this: Writers – do you think we have to be attractive in order to sell books? Do you think being attractive improves your chances?

At the time of writing this blogpost, it’s had 34k views and over 200 comments, and though I haven’t counted, while many respondents said no – some citing Stephen King as an example – a considerable number said something along the lines of “well, it might help with marketing.” And you know what? That’s rather depressing. Not because I’m ugly (I mean, just take a look at my photospread – I’m fucking gorgeous). Actually, it is because I’m ugly. But also because I think society now is too focused on fifteen seconds of a good-looking TikTokker, or five minutes of beautiful young women applying make-up on YouTube, or what some attractive, yet at the same time utterly repellent social media star, telling people what they should think. Good looks sell books. Combine that with the fact that the book charts are full of women writers (real women), and that must put a remarkable amount of pressure on, particularly, female writers to be attractive.

Now, I speak from the viewpoint of an unattractive, balding/almost bald, fat white bloke, so I feel as though I can say what I’m about to say. But sometimes, a handful of those attractive female writers are not actually attractive. Soft focus, sympathetically coloured, photoshopped images, there just because some marketing twat actually does believe that people have to be attractive if they’re going to sell a book. The eye-opening thing – and, in all honesty, it shouldn’t be all that eye-opening – is that readers don’t give a shit what the writer of a novel they’re reading looks like. I perhaps know what a dozen writers actually look like, and I don’t consider how attractive they might be (most male authors are just normal looking blokes). Many paperbacks don’t even include a photograph of the author. If there’s a photo on a dust jacket, I will take a look, but probably not until I’m halfway through the book and idly flicking through the cover material (hey, I’m the guy who was halfway through a Robert Galbraith novel before I realized that he was actually J.K. Rowling). Readers don’t care. And we shouldn’t be made to feel as though we have to look stunning in our author photo. Christ, I’ve seen some author photos, of traditionally published writers, which have been blurred, not colour-corrected, and the writer looks like they’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. The cover of a book is more likely to sell the book than what the writer looks like.

So what has this rant been all about? The pressure that some writers might feel when it comes to marketing themselves. Look in the mirror, worry that you’re not as attractive as J.K. Rowling, and then give up. As a few people said in response to my Tweet (or should be X?) – define attractive. What I might find attractive, someone else might not. In reality, you’re more likely to put someone off buying your book if you hold an unconventional opinion and voice it on social media (I should know). It may well be that some marketing tool is going to decide that the publishing house won’t go forward with your manuscript because you’re not “attractive”, but fuck them. Get the book edited, make it as good as you can, and then put it out there yourself. Penguin will give you 20% of the royalties from each sale of your book. Amazon Kindle will give you 70% of the royalties from each sale. Market your own stuff. And stop feeling pressured to conform to some idiot’s “ideal” of what a writer should look like.

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The photo of me wearing headphones was taken during a radio show broadcast some years ago. The first three colour photos of me were taken during a period of time when I was heavily drinking. The second pair of photos were taken during a dark period of my life. And the black and white photos? Well, they’re there because harsh black and white photos are more flattering to ugly old white blokes.